My new old phone

The morning I got the new iPhone 5 was a glorious one. My step mum Helen had dropped me off to the Telstra shop at 7am before she started work and I sat with my back to the shop enjoying the morning sun and being the first one there. an hour later I turned to fine 6 people had taken my thunder and had started a line without me at the start.

I came out of that shop later that day with a shiny new iPhone 5 64g in Space Grey. It was beautiful. It was shiny. It was a hell of a lot faster than my 4 year old second hand 16g black iPhone 3gs. As I was about to start my higher education at university to learn the art of journalism I took pity on the local journo looking for some quotes for the piece for the local paper.

First mistake.


To be fair when does holding a new iPhone out in front of you, holding a bunch of balloons, standing next to a tower of cupcakes and having a string of apples around your neck not look good?

Leah was lovely and I ended up having lunch with her a few months later and she gave me great advice but I was extremely uninformed. I was quoted saying ‘a new stronger screen’ was one of my reasons for the upgrade when in actual fact I need a new phone and I was always going to choose apple. Apple is life.

This was on the Friday I purchased my new dream phone. It was Saturday night that saw it’s demise. After purchasing a new case and fixing up my contract with a friend who worked at Telstra in Albury I readied myself for a house party at a friends. I was not planning on drinking at the party but was in charge of carrying my friends alcohol from the car to backyard. This is when everything would turn black and white and slow down in the movies. The skirt I was wearing was slippery and my little phone didn’t stand a chance. I had thought I held it in my hand but alas it was all over before I knew it had begun. I was holding the 4 pack of cruisers of my friends and my wallet and other items in my other hand not my beautiful phone and its small fall from my lap to the road was enough to shatter the screen entirely. Brilliant. Was even better when the article came out on the Monday of me holding my shiny new phone and friends took it upon themselves to post the article to my wall. My father even cut it out and put it on the fridge. Bastard.

I was able to make to make do with the smashed screen for a few months until o-week and alcohol seeped it’s way into the screen killing my phone and my dreams. I was able to purchase a new phone from apple for a fee forcing my diet to consist of pasta and goon but I had my beautiful phone back.

Until a night out and 7 too many shots left me with a hangover and no phone. A trip to the Telstra shop and a downgrade to the 32g version and a extremely high bill the next month I was back in action.

Until last week when out I had my phone taken from my handbag. The case containing my cards was hastily ripped from the phone taken to the bar or dropped on the floor. Either way I have my student card back but sadly none of my photos from the past 5 months as my phone it seems had not updated in that time. Brilliant.

I purchase a almost definitely stolen phone of a website and am now back in action with a horrible 1 pound cat case from Primark. This is my forth iPhone 5. It’s a good phone and I plan to stay with it until it breaks but I have never before hated a phone so much as well.

Moral of the story buy a Nokia.

-Mairead x


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